FlashCast By PDB, With Phil Di Bella

  📍 ​

 Hey, you're listening to Phil Di Bella Flashcast by PDB. Today I want to talk about resilience something that keeps coming up and we just had a session not long ago at the Coffee Commune about stress in the workplace and, and resilience was, was something that kept coming up and I just want to talk the next ten minutes about resilience and maybe give some tips and tricks around what I do to help me try and be resilient.

And let me start by saying that resilience is a skill, you know, it's a skill. It's like riding a bike. The more we practice, the better we'll get at it. And obviously those that have been in put into difficult situations often you'll find are a lot more resilient because they've had to practice it.

So remember that, that resilience is a skill and it's, it's like anything. The more we practice, the better we get. And obviously in the more circumstances that we're faced with adversity or, or times that we need to be resilient, the better we will find it. And that's why you'll find that people that have, have had more say incidences or toughness in their life, not that we wish that on anybody have often come out the other end a lot stronger than somebody that's, that's never been in put in a in a position to practice resilience.

So we don't want to be waiting. Until something happens to become resilient it is something that we want to, you know, and we can practice before something bad happens to us. So, you know, let's kick off with, you know, what is resilience? You know, it's resilience is a process of outcome of successfully adapting to a difficult or challenging life experience.

Pretty simple. You're right. It's, it's all about how we deal with difficult or challenging life experiences. And if we think about it, these happen all the time. And, and obviously the degree of difficulty and the challenging moments are different for different people. But everybody in their life experiences difficult moments, difficult times.

And it is something that, you know, that we, we need to practice, something that we need to be aware. What we find that makes most people resilient from our conversations, from the workshop we had the other day, when we talk about it People that are resilient are very aware. So they're very aware and conscious of what's happened to them is something that keeps coming out.

So they, they know what's happened. They, they face it head on. They don't go through the you know, the train wreck with their eyes closed. They're fully aware of what's going on. They're conscious that they're in a situation. And, and whether they're dealing with it right or wrong. They are aware. The next thing is that they have self control.

So resilient people have that strong self control. And again, this is a hard one. I've found it difficult over the years that when you're in a difficult position, you know, we need to be at our best. And that self control is something that is really prevalent. The next one is problem solving skills, right?

You'll find that people that are resilient know how to solve problems. As soon as the problem happens, they go right, they go straight into fix it mode. They go into how can I, can I fix this? And that in in a traits called restorative. So those that have restorative as a strength we'll find are a lot more resilient because when a problem evolves, bang, they're straight into how do I solve this?

And then the next one. You know, characteristic that we found through the workshop is that people have very strong social support. So the people with strong resilience have really, really good people around them. And that's something that's really, really important. And that is obviously about the environment and the people that we keep around us.

So we need to make sure that we have that. So summary, very simple. Main characteristics of a person who we found was resilient out of the, out of the workshop was they were aware, they had self control, they had problem solving skills and they had strong social support around them. So something for us to really be aware of.

Now of course, let's talk about resilience in today. You know, with, with, with, you know, call it post COVID. I don't think the effects of COVID ever go away, but post the pandemic, it's brought a lot of disruption. It's brought a lot of stress. It's done this on a personal level, but it's also done this, you know, I talk about personal professional family and, and I think the biggest effect of COVID and the pandemic was that it hit people on a personal, family and professional level.

And just think about that for a moment. You know, often we, we will go through adversity in our lives and allow to be in our personal life, whether it's challenges with weight or with health, whatever it is, or we're having issues at work or we're having issues with children or family members. But very rarely do we face something that affects all three.

And that I think is the phenomenon of COVID is that COVID affected people on a personal, professional, and family level. People personally were obviously getting sick. People personally were worried. People personally were had to be isolated on a family level. Family members were fighting. Some wanted to get believed in their vaccination.

Some didn't. On a professional level, some people weren't allowed to work. Some people couldn't go into work. Some people lost their jobs. So if you think about it, this caused a lot of stress and it, and, and as you know, certainly in my 48 years of living the, one of the only times I can remember.

where something that's happened has affected on a personal professional and family at the same time. And I think that's really, really important. And of course, those that have come and they're coming out of it stronger are those that have been resilient. Now, great time to be thinking about resilience.

Great time to be saying, why do I need to be resilient? Well, resilience, the ability to adapt and bounce back from difficult situations. Very simple. Why do we need to be resilient? Because it gives us the ability. To adapt and bounce back from a difficult situation, it enables us to overcome adversity.

It enables us to keep moving forward. It enables us to look at, you know, the issues, you know, head on and go, right, these are the things that I need to do. It allows us to cope with the stress, with the trauma, with the difficult emotion, but still remain strong and optimistic. So a lot say that resilience is not just a skill, but it's a mindset, you know, and to me, it's both.

It's a mindset, but it's also a skill. It's something that you've got to train your body to innately, you know, deep dig into yourself that when you're facing something, you need to dig deep and say, what is the best that I can do here? So let's talk about a few tips and tricks. on how we can develop resilience.

So building strong relationships, right? You know, having a strong support system around you. This is something that, that I found, you know, at the time of COVID when, when, when that was happening I found that, you know, that you had the great people around you on a personal level, on a professional level, on a family level, and that is so important.

So it's a good time to be sitting down with a piece of paper and a pen and going, right, what does my relationships look like on a personal level? on a family level and on a professional level because we do have different types of relationships, right? Very rarely do we have a relationship with a person on a personal, professional, and family level.

Some, some do, but often you'll find that's different. So really sit down and categorize what are your strong relationships in each three areas. This is something that really helps you to, to map that out and understand it. You know, the next thing that I found useful was obviously the whole mindfulness and for me, mindfulness is about stopping.

It's about stopping. It's about gratitude. It's about meditation. It's about self care. It's about going for a walk. It's about listening to Dr. Joe Dispenza. These are the things that helped me and still do help me with, you know, become more resilient as a person. So practicing that mindfulness and self care.

And for me, it's a, it's a mix of obviously exercise, you know, and listening to the body. So if the body's feeling good, push harder. If the body's feeling weaker at times, I don't even train at all. Listening to the body, but definitely. It's all about the self talk. It's about the meditation and making sure that you're reflecting and being grateful for the things that you have and keeping in that positive mindset.

Great segue into the next one is we've got to get, we've got to be able to reframe negative thoughts. And a lot of people say, get rid of negative thoughts. You can't get rid of them. They're going to happen. It's it's natural part of life. But we can reframe them. So when that negative thought comes into your mind, you've got to learn how you can reframe it.

You can, you have a positive talk to yourself. So instead of thinking, I can't do this, you reframe it as, I can do this with some effort, support, and help. So it's not a blanket, I can't do this. It's I can do this with some sort of effort, practice, and support. My go to is not no because, it's yes if. So that might help you.

I reframe negative thoughts in that light. I don't, I practice not a no because attitude. I practice a yes if attitude. The fourth one is for me is about you've got to embrace change and you've got to tackle it. You've got to, you've got to go into that problem solving mode. Now that's going to be easier for some people than others.

One of my number one traits in my strength testing came up was restorative, which is, When a problem happens, I go straight into fix it mode. Now that's great a lot of the times, but it can be negative sometimes, but it's about practicing how to really embrace change and tackle adversity head on. Really go for it, not park it, not, not, not close your eyes to it, but really, really, really tackle it head on from a mindset point of view and say, right, change needs to happen.

Challenges in front of me. what can I do? And finally, the big one for me is we can have all the knowledge in the world, but if we're not taking action, then things don't happen. We can strategize, we can think, we can plan, but if we're not taking action, we're in trouble. So you need to take action. So the five things that have helped me build strong relationships, practice mindfulness, reframe the negative thoughts, embrace change and tackle it head on.

And finally take action. These are the things that have helped me become and still help me become more and more Resilient and be care. And remember, resilience is a journey. It's a skill. The more we practice, the better we get. It's not a destination. You don't achieve resilience and stop. It's something that you have to be mindful and have to practice going on and on and on.

But once you do, you got to remember that it is essential trait. Resilience is an essential trait that will help us navigate through difficult times. It will help us build relationships, a strong relationships. It'll help us with our self, strong relationship with others. It'll help us with self care. And we've got to remember, it'll help us be better tomorrow than 📍 today.

And that's all we can ask, right? Be better tomorrow than today. Until next time, you've been listening to Phil DiBella and this is Flashcast by PDB.

 ​