FlashCast By PDB, With Phil Di Bella

  📍 Hi, you're listening to Phil DiBella, and this is Flashcards by PDB. Today I want to talk about happiness versus purpose, a question that's come in by the audience several times over the last couple of months is, is it happiness we should be chasing or purpose? It's been asked in different forms, but that's what I've deciphered from the questions is, and today is going to be all about my take and my perspective on happiness and purpose.

Now, let me tell you, to me, happiness is all about contentment. We're happy when we're contented and we're contented when we have a purpose. To me, the people that seem the most happy intuitively are all about people that are in control of their life choices. They're the people that have built, you know, their lives around some of the following things they've believed that.

But, , devoting time to family and friends is important and, , and again, this coming from my perspective and those, and my observations from people around me that I see that are happy. , you know, we devote time and, to family and friends and that time will, and the amount of time will depend on obviously what's going on in our lives at the, the, , the moment.

I've previously did a flash cast on, you know, , work life balance versus harmony. And I said that balance didn't exist, it was all about harmony. So, devoting time to family and friends will really depend on obviously what's going on in your life right now. But the people that are at most happiest and when I'm at my most happiest is when I'm devoting the right amount of time to family and friends.

The next one is that I appreciate what I have. , and I did this when I had nothing, and I do this now when I've got enough money to do what I want when I want. , it hasn't changed. To me, appreciating what I have, , and seeing people that appreciate what they have make them happy. My parents are a really good example of this.

My father used to earn 450 a week when I grew up. We never once went on a holiday. yet I had a great upbringing. We laughed, we joked, we had barbecues, we had friends over, we visited friends and family. We did all the simple things, but they all bring back great memories. They epitomize the concept of appreciating what they have.

And they certainly made sure that we all had a great time with many memorable moments. , and no wonder to this day, my parents are very, very happy people. The next one that I, , do is, is always maintain an optimistic outlook. I find that, , when I'm at my happiest is that I have an optimistic outlook on what's happening and how things are working.

That's the most important thing that happens, , to me in, in terms of mindset. So , I've got to make sure that, you know, to me, it's all about having that optimistic outlook. , the next one is feeling a sense of purpose. , and, and this is why I said it comes happiness. It then goes from happiness to contentment and contentment.

to purpose. I feel most content, tent when I have a purpose. And whether that purpose is around me personally, professionally or family, I need that sense of purpose. Without that sense of purpose, I can't feel happy, but I'm going to talk about purpose separately after. And the next one, which is something that I've really, really starting to focus on now is living in the moment.

And I talk more about now, my motto is about more being and less doing. And, , no doubt I'll do a flash cast about it down the track. But to me, it's all about living in the moment now is to making sure that I'm doing more being and less doing, because we all get caught up in what we're going to do.

We're going to do we're going to do destination, destination, destination. Now I'm starting to learn the journey. Now, whether you use the concept of, , you know, appreciate the journey rather than focus on the destination, whether you use the terminology, more being less doing, or whether you use.

terminology of living in the moment, they all mean the same thing that, you know, and they're the fundamentals. So to me, happiness is about devoting time to family and friends, appreciating what I have, maintaining optimistic outlook, feeling a sense of purpose and living in the moment. What is a happy life?

A great question, right? I've asked what is a happy life to me. Happy life is one which is in accordance with. my own nature, where I feel in my own equilibrium, where I feel in harmony. You know, I believe that my life is basically the sum of all my choices. So my life comes down to the sum of the choices that I make.

The better my choices, the better the opportunity that I have a happy life. These are things that are so, so important, you know, um, and what it means. Now people say, what can I do to become more happy? Well, Exercise, sleep more, you know, these are two things, exercise, sleep more, then we go on to what I said before, sleep, spend more time with family and friends, right, you know, these are things that you can do straight away, , especially the exercise, especially the sleep more, , you know, of course, the others like devoting time with family and friends takes more planning, you know, but appreciating what you have is about mindset, you know, maintaining an optimistic mindset.

The optimistic outlook is a mindset. Feeling a sense of purpose is actually an action, takes planning, , and living in the moment. So you'll find that a lot of these keys and triggers to happiness that revolve around mindset, but others are around actually doing. So exercising, sleeping more, you know, helping others, , helping other people is found to really make me happy.

I love that. that spirit of helping, but also links in to purpose, which is what I want to move across to now. So when I talk about purpose to me, purpose is the motivation that drives you towards having a satisfied future. When you have a purpose, you feel motivated. It drives you towards having, , you know, a satisfying future.

It helps you get the most out of life. It helps you achieve what matters and thus it makes you content and thus it makes you happy. , so some of the questions I get. Asked is how to find your purpose. Well, you know a good little exercise, , and I found this one on the internet , it's very simple write your one liners down So write the one things that , you know, the one liners down that mean to you something What what is it that means something to you say some of them out loud?

You know, say some of them out loud. So, you know, like when I was losing weight, my purpose was about, I want to be the fittest I can be. And I would say it over and over, you know, I want to be the fittest I can be, I want to be the fittest I can be. It wasn't, I want to lose weight. It was that I wanted to be...

the fittest I could be. And the byproduct of that was lose weight. Now, being by being the fittest I could be, and it's a journey that I'm now still on after dropping 75 kilos, I'm still on this journey being the fittest I can be. So I'm making my purpose, a journey, a journey that will make me content. And when I'm content, I'm happy.

Right? Another one might be around, you know, I talk about, about my children, I want to be Father of the Year. And I keep writing that down, I want to be Father of the Year. You know, if there was some award that said Father of the Year, and of course there's not, but it's my visualization, it's my one liner, my purpose with my children is to be Father of the Year.

And I say that over and over. Now, by saying that over and over, I then start to write down all the things I need to do to be Father of the Year, which of course, be more present, get rid of the technology when I'm with my kids, , so that they have my undivided attention. drive my kids to school, have breakfast every morning with the family.

So all the things that I, you know, I write down contribute to trying to be Father of the Year, which is a purpose for me. And when I fulfill that, I feel content. When I'm content, I feel happy. So using those two examples is how I've gone about to find my purpose. , I do break down. the purpose is in three areas personal, professional and family, and we should all have purposes in all three areas.

And then from that purpose, we can write down what we need to do that will make us content. Now you'll find that once you are on track or are on that journey of achieving those purposes, happiness becomes. And that's why, to me, happiness is a byproduct of having a purpose. I think they work hand in hand.

You can't be happy if you don't have a purpose in life, if you don't feel content. And you can't be, have a purpose, , without understanding what happiness is all about. Because if you experience happiness, then you've experienced contentment, which means you've experienced that purpose. So it all starts with purpose, and it drives down that happiness becomes the byproduct.

So, I think in summary, a lot of people are chasing, , this. This concept of this feeling of happiness, but not realizing that happiness is a bit like wealth. Wealth comes is a byproduct of doing things right. Wealth is a byproduct of selling a product or service, , and generates an income. You know, happiness is a byproduct of living your purpose.

, and that's my best way that I feel I can explain from my experience is that I'm feeling my most happiness 📍 when I have a purpose, which leads to contentment, which then results in happiness. I hope you found something from that. Go away and drive your purposes, write down your purposes, write down what you need to do that'll make you content and therefore in return make you happy.

Until next time, you've been listening to Phil DiBella. This is Flashcast by PDB. Go and be the best you can be.