FlashCast By PDB, With Phil Di Bella

Hi, this is Phil Di Bella and you're listening to FlashCast By PDB. And today I want to tackle something a little bit, some might say controversial, but I don't like giving air to things that need to be aired. And this one's. The common issues or challenges that females face in today's society, and of course me not being a female's, not the best person to talk about this.

I can facilitate the discussion, but I brought along Jodi, her brand. We'll cut faces, right? Joie, joie. Hey, Brad. Jodie Hebrard has come along to talk to us about this. Jodie is a mother, she is a business owner. She's also a wife and she's a very, a very astute, independent female who keeps in great shape and knows a.

Health and fitness. So Jodi, welcome to the show. Thank you so much for having me, Phil. Let's tackle it, right, and let's see where this goes. Sure. But it's all about the listener and taking home some nuggets coming from experience. Right. Let's go straight with the question. What are the common challenges that females face in today's society?

We're not equal. We we want equality. We wanna push for equality, we wanna have a level playing field. It's never gonna happen. It's not gonna happen. The dynamics of being a woman. So there's different levels. There's the physicality of it. I do not have the muscle masses, testosterone levels as a male.

So in regards to your health and fitness one thing that I've always found with clients is that they worry about getting too bulky or too big. It. You're not going to, unless you are you're boosting yourself with testosterone. It doesn't matter how much you train, you won't won't get too big.

That's one challenge I've, I've faced with my clients. I think in the business world when I've played I became untuck when I became a mom. I before children, you've got all the free time in the world. My husband and I worked together, so we had an equal playing field and we had our own strengths and weaknesses that we played at becoming parents changed that dynamic.

I had the boobs, my husband didn't, so I I stayed home and breastfed. And I wanted to. But then, you know, moving from that into my career, it's like I can't have it all. What do you mean I can't have it all? I've been told this lie all these years that you could have it all. Like, no, you can't, honey, I'm sorry.

And the, you know, the demand and the relationship finds that really hard because they don't know your journey. They can't live your journey. But then he's going out and, and doing everything that you were beforehand, but now you've got all these hurdles to overcome. So I think it's a matter of figuring out what motherhood means to you.

What you wanna take on in motherhood. I realized that I wanted the relationship with my children, not the jobs of motherhood. They're two very separate things. I love that. And being okay with that. I outsourced, started to outsource a lot from that. So that's the two biggest things that are coming up for me.

Yeah, no, look, you've, you've nailed it, right? You've nailed it. And let me start with the, the, the part where you said where you, you know, you we're not equal and you're not equal. What does equal actually mean? And this is what I say to people. What does equal actually mean? You don't need to be equal like everyone's.

Height is not equal. Everybody's skin color is not equal. Everybody's bank balance is not equal. What they, yeah. What people eat is not equal. So are we, we we're actually fed a fallacy as as, as you said. Yeah. To be chasing something that doesn't need, need to exist. Yeah. Let alone exist because, yeah.

There's some things that, I say it all the time that a female is far superior than a male. Mm-hmm. . And there's some things that a male's gonna be more superior than a female. Mm-hmm. , but that doesn't make anyone. Yep. It just makes 'em different. Different, yeah. You know, and and that's an important thing for people to realize.

So tip number one of, of what you've just shared, which was beautiful, is find your own space, right? Yeah. Find your own space, find your own jam, find your own emotional engagement, whatever words you want to use. Yeah. Find what triggers you, what makes you happy. Yeah. And puts you in that state of euphoria.

Mm-hmm. you know, and it doesn't matter whether you are male or female. So I actually think. , you know, from a male's perspective the key start to to, to equality is by acknowledging that equality doesn't exist or need to exist. Yeah. Is that everybody has a right to exist in their own matter shape or form.

Yeah. And to be the best versions of themselves. Yeah. Tell me a little bit more about the dynamic with working with your husband, because that's something that obviously I work with Janna and we have done for many, many years and and as, as challenging as it can be. Yeah. It's very rewarding and.

Share a little tip with you that I learned the other day and it, and it was an aha moment, because a friend of mine was having issues. He also works with his wife and they were having issues and he's like, my bloody wife this, and my bloody wife that, and my bloody wife this. And I turned around and it just snapped and dawned on me.

And I said to him, how many hours a week do you work? Do you spend with your wife? And he said, oh, shit. Never thought of it like that. Well, well let's work it out. You know? So you work about what, 40, 50 hours you're at home? X amount of hours. Mm-hmm. anyway. Over a hundred hours a week, I said. Mm-hmm. Out of a hundred hours a week, how much time would you spend arguing with your wife?

Mm. And he goes, oh, probably only about two hours a week. Mm-hmm. , I said, well, you're doing pretty darn well, aren't you? Mm-hmm. And then obviously, I, I internalized it to me. Mm-hmm. , I wouldn't spend an hour a week arguing with my wife, if that. Yep. And, and you start to quantify. So I suppose the message there is, you know, our brain has 60, 70,000.

Conversations with itself a day. Yes. You know? And that can be dangerous if we're not panning it out. Yeah. But I love data. Yeah, you're right. I love data. I love pen and paper, so get out of your head. You know, and, and, and for me, that whole thing about, you know, working with your partner mm-hmm. Is about contextualizing and keeping it real.

Don't, don't listen to those voices in your head. The 60, 70,000 conversations, get a pen and paper in pen. Right. I spend a hundred hours a week and I only argue with my wife an hour a week. Geez. We're doing quite well. Yeah. Tell me from your perspective. I know I hijacked your question. No, that's okay. But um, tell me a bit about the dynamic about working with your husband and your, from your experience.

Yeah, sure. We figured out early on that we've got different strengths and weaknesses, so that was important. With any business you wanna have some complimentary skill sets and we have a high level of candor in our relationship in that transfer over to the business. So sometimes I'd come to the end of the day, Geez, my work colleague today was an absolute dickhead.

Mm-hmm. Like, can you like we have this friendly banter where we'd offload and then just move on from there to being the couple in, in the relationship after that. So it's been interesting, but realizing that I'm I never wanted to do what Tony did in the business, and he never wanted to do what I wanted to do.

Mm-hmm. And just letting go control. So it's like, you're right. You do that, do that, you own that. You make the decisions, and you you deal with consequences and separating that really, really strongly. But that was separate to the relationship that we had with you know, in terms of husband and wife.

Yeah. So being able to really just understand the different dynamics and the, and integrate that well. Yeah, I like that because it's identifying the roles and again, we come back to that there is doesn't need to be equal. Yes. Um, There needs to be equilibrium. Yes. And I think that's probably, you know, if, if anything I've had a bit of aha moment there, it's, well, if it's not equal, what is it?

Well, it's actually equilibrium, right? Yeah. Is that you are doing the roles that he doesn't want to and you love that. Yeah. He's doing the stuff that you don't, that you don't wanna do. Yeah. And he loves that. Yeah. So you're actually finding your own. Water's finding its own level. Yes. You're getting this equilibrium, you're getting this flow.

And, and I think, you know, key one for listeners especially, you know, in the spirit of the topic about women and common, you know, mistakes and, and, and challenges, you know, challenges that they have is chase equilibrium. Yeah. You know, chase that equilibrium of what works for you. Yeah. And especially if you're in a relationship with a partner or you're working with that partner Yeah.

Is, you've gotta find that equilibrium. Yeah. Good one. The other day that was discussed is that you know, the husband and wife, the wife doesn't wanna, she's gone past the partying stage mm-hmm. and doesn't wanna go out much. She wants to stay home and Yeah. And you know, not drink anymore and not eat out as much and all the rest of it.

Yeah. And the husband wants to still keep doing what they were doing. Yeah. And it's causing some friction and, yeah. So talk, let's talk about another fellas and another common mistake that happens for people is people going off into different. Hmm. Right. And what, what experience would you lend on that?

Where, you know, one person's going left and the other person's going right? Oh, I think communication, Phil. I've been with Tony since I've, how 16? Mm-hmm. , so 20 million years. Yeah. . But we've all, you know, we, we've been on a journey side by side. Sometimes he's ahead, sometimes I'm behind and vice versa.

And I think it's a matter of realizing that, You know, they're your partner to stop and help along when you need it, or to encourage, kick 'em out the butt. Mm-hmm. But I think realizing that, you know you should be complimenting each other and that doesn't mean you need to be at the same path, on the same path at the same level.

Mm-hmm. But it needs. It does. I feel like it needs to be that you are there for support, whether you are dragging or pulling ahead along the way, but I think that can be often normal in relationships where you're traveling along. Yeah. And, and obviously coming back to the challenges, obviously, that the females think that they always need to be right there or be ahead or, you know, you can have it all.

And, and I, and I come back to how you opened up with, you know, people will say, told that they can have it all. But what does all mean? What do you want it all? Yeah. You know, I, I don't want it all. Yeah. People are like, oh, but don't you wanna work harder and buy a plane? No. I'd rather fly commercial and sit at the front of the plane.

Yeah. I don't need to buy a plane to do that. You know, like, I don't, you wanna buy this massive boat? Well, why just rent it? You know, like, there's always a way you're still gonna have the same experience. Yeah. Right. So one of those challenges I think that everyone faces, not just females, is that we get caught up in this dreamland in our minds.

Yes. And our mind starts to play games with us. And, and that's why I keep saying, come back to pen and paper and a pen. Yeah. What's important and write it out. What is important for you and what's important for you, and break it down. Personal, professional, and family. Yeah. So let's wrap it up with the three, three areas.

What is. 2022, the rest of 2022. What is one thing you wanna achieve personally, professionally, and family? Ooh, okay. Family. We are gonna be going on a holiday up to Cairns. Fantastic. So that's gonna be one thing that we wanna do together and also some fun runs along the way. Professionally, I am publishing online a lot on, on Twitter with some different eBooks and guides.

And I've decided to open up coaching people internationally as well with the mentoring program. And then physically I have got multiple goals in that field. I'll be deadlifting 80 kilos this year. I will be doing 43 pushups cuz I'm 43 this year. In one minute. Oh, sorry. Not one minute. I'll get back to you on that.

And Sub one kilometre run five minutes. Fantastic. Yeah. Sub five minutes one kilometer. Thank you. . That's good. Me. It takes five days to run one kilometer, but I say to people that run are people that owe people money or are scared. So no idea ? No running's not my gem, that's for sure. Cool. And the important part there for you, it doesn't matter what it is, is that.

everybody has one thing at least that they wanna achieve personally, professionally, family. So the biggest challenge I think people face today, especially females Yeah. Is that they don't understand that their life is made up of personal Yeah. Professional. Yeah. And family. And family. And that you need one thing, at least at any one time that you wanna achieve in all three areas, right?

So the key takeaway for the audience, from my perspective, is sit down. Sit down, pen and paper, personal, professional, family, what's one thing you want to achieve in each area? And don't let anyone hold you back. Closing your remarks from yourself. J. Go do cool stuff, peeps. Awesome. Take a swing fat up. There you go.

It doesn't get any better than that. You've been listening to Phil and Jodie and this has been FlashCast By PDB. Until next time, gonna be the best you be.